28 November 2020
21 November 2020
14 November 2020
Short Haul Gibbon - prelude to something more
Short Haul Gibbon. That was his name. He worked June to October hiring out to local farmers who needed workers and flatbeds to bring newly cut silage from the fields to their barns for winter storage. Seasonal people from the city would employ him to move things from Millard’s Auction House in Arcade – furnishings by the house load to fill up their summer places right quick.
His birth name had been Eustace Gibbon - a name he hated growing up. His Pa said he gave him that name because and on account of his belief that a boy with an odd name had to quickly learn how to stand up for himself on the school grounds. Which worked well for him and by teh time he'd got to second grade, he could manage himself quite fine. At the same time, he was no rabble rouser.
By third grade, even the tough kids from the Hollow
called him “Eustace” in a certain tone that signified an air of muted respect.
Older folks were deferential as well, only their approach to him led to asking
him to do chores, and they paid him handsomely. Some said that with a name such
as his it must mean the family had some civility that other families lacked.
When he was
17, he already knew what he wanted to do. He didn’t plan on returning to high
school the following year. He’d saved up $500 (a tidy sum for a lad in those
days) and went and bought old Putt Smith’s beat-up 10 gear standard shift
Brockway Semi-trailer. He got himself his own phone number - the only person
under 30 to have his own personal phone number in the entire county.
That, summer
after doing these two things he spent his spare time fixing the Brockway up.
Come autumn he wangled some deal with the Ag-Tech school to give the cab a new
crisp paint job; then had one of the Thompson Brothers carefully detail
lettering on both side doors that read “Short Haul Gibbon” with that phone
number below it, and he was in business! Just – like – that.
T’was the
summer people who began to call him Short Haul directly; first because they
didn’t really know his name. And he found this so much to his liking that by
age 20, he filed papers in Probate to make the change legit and for the record.
When folks
asked his Pa iffen this warn’t some sign of disrespect he told them that his
boy made his own living, and that he was old enough to do as he pleased, that
Pa was fine with this and whyn’t they just go and mind their own danged
business.
Shortly
after this, he began getting tattooed. Never said why, and we didn’t know from
where since there were no places what did that kind of artwork around these
parts. He was private about it, sort of.
Except for a five pointed star right center on his neck, in that hollow between
the Adam’s Apple and the collar bones, all his body pictures could be
discreetly hid beneath his clothes ..
except in the summertime, which is when I first saw then and took notice.
I first made
acquaintance with Short Haul the summer I had just turned 17. He was 28. I‘d been working on one of the Mennonite
family’s farms helping thrash the hay. Short Haul took their custom made
furniture that they made and drove it all up to Oberlin for them where they
sold it to some fancy-dance appliance and household goods store. One day I working
on their farmstead and doing heavy lifting, I was big for my age, muscular and
full of spunk and vinegar and all sweated up, but it was clean, working sweat.
Short Haul
took note and said I was just the sort that he needed working in his business –
what with all the many tasks he was getting hired on to do. After all, he was
getting older and he could no longer do all the work by himself.
My folks
thought working for Short Haul would do me good. It was a step up and away from
weekends drinking up on Cream Ridge Road with the Ag-Tech boys. You know – one
of those secrets that nobody says much of by everybody knows. So I said yes
right away. Besides, I was enthralled with those tattoos.
Truth be
known, they was a whole lot more that the ink what got me curious ~ though I
wan’t ‘zactly sure how to express myself about that then – not having learnt of
greater mysteries beyond the Baby Jesus being born from a Virgin, and the odd
noise that could be heard in the caves on Covenant Mountain.
Now, Short
Haul was a right personable man. He
could also be a real charmer. The ladies would just swoon over him, but he just
kep his space from them, remaining real polite and keeping things to business.
Given he was always hiring himself out for work I figured this to be pretty
smart.
But I was
working for him for just over a year when one day I asked him if he ever planned
to take a wife. At first he looked at me plain flustered. Then, “Well, what
brings that personalness up?” He asked in such a tone that I believe my first
reaction was to blush.
And I
thought about it. My sister, Emily, had goaded me into asking. Turns out she is
friends with this shy deaf-and-dumb girl, Wisteria; her people lives just shy a
mile down the road from us. They are our closest neighbors on the way to town.
Anyway, Wisteria was sweet on Short Haul, it was no secret. It was almost painful
to watch her when he came in proximity to her at the Agway.
And while my
question was on that occasion, awkward, it also brought open a whole passel of
subjects that we, neither he nor I – ever talked about until then.
The question
altered everything – not right away, mind you – but from that point on. The
question was a beginning.
On that
occasion, there was a long and uncomfortable silence as we drove a truck full
of merchandise to Oberlin. Until we were just on the outskirts of town, when he
took my inquiry one step further, and asked of me the same thing back. And it
was the second time that day I blushed.
02 November 2020
01 November 2020
28 October 2020
24 October 2020
Rick's Smoke Shop, in Amsterdam
As I sketched, a woman attempted to argue with the shop keeper because none of the food items on his menu board available, and that she came into this establishment specifically to eat.
14 October 2020
Attempting portrait sketching - Ashley
I was at lunch, having a steak and cheese sub at the Grand-Atwater deli/bodega [121 Grand Avenue, New Haven] and had begun sketching.
This young lady, Ashley, came and sat at the table. We talked a bit, she was curious about what I was drawing. She asked if I could draw her. Now, typically, when someone asks this I would quickly decline - I'm not as comfortable sketching people as I am buildings or ridgelines.
But that day I thought, why not - only way I'll get better at portraits is to actually start doing them so agreed to. I took a couple of photos, did a very rudimentary sketch and told here when I finished a proper sketch I'd drop it off with Cody, who works and cooks at the place.
That was a week and a half ago. I'm guessing she's presumed she'll never see this.
The bodega (once again, at 121 Grand Avenue in the Fair Haven section of New Haven) reminded me a lot of a steak place in Philly - where I spent my teen aged years. Grand-Atwater makes a very tasty cheese steak. I always as for tomato sauce. Quite tasty.
Anyway - today I have to turn in my Census materials and after I've done that, I'm dropping this sketch off for her.
08 October 2020
07 October 2020
POEM - Checking out the Handiwork
Checking
out the handiwork
The bricklayer
sat by his wall
checking out
his own handiwork
finding a flaw
that no one but
he
(or another
bricklayer)
Would ever
notice
That
imperfections
Had little to
do
with the skill
of his craft
and more to do
with the pride
of perfect labors
when one can
walk away from
Content in its
completeness.
This made him
feel
the work
unfinished
his mission no
accomplished
Yet the
homeowner who hired him
was in a rush
“Don’t touch a
thing!
Looks good to
me!”
ushering the
tradesman away
With a check
and his own
consternation.
Little did it
matter to him –
when
30 years later
building still
erect
every time he
passed by
He could see
what he could
not aright
And it made him
sad.
About Journal Keeping and Writing
What
do you call the form of self-documentation you keep—a journal, a diary, a
notebook, a sketchbook, a scrapbook, etc.? (I use the general term “journal”
in the questions that follow, but you should respond with whatever word
applies to you.) Is this choice of terminology important to you? |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||
There
are a few ways I do self-documenting. v By and large I use the term “journal”. v I
have never thought of my writing as a “diary.” I don’t keep particularly
personal recounts, although on occasion, I do describe things that took place
with and/or around me. v Similarly,
a “log” seemed inapt. I used to maintain logs for a work site and the content
expected of a log is quite dissimilar from a journal. The journal I keep does
not provide a cohesive, chronological account of events or activities that have
transpired and which I have observed. (1) Personal journals I’ve maintained these since
1980. The physical journals are, in part, (a) writing my thoughts of personal
issues, family matters, events going on in the world; (b) rough drafts of
poems, essays and the like; (c) for note taking (recollection of info such as
names and phone #s, meeting notes, lists); (d) sketching; (e) pasting in
business cards, photos and memorabilia (concert tickets, for example) (2) Work journals: Exclusively about things
related to my employment as a human rights advocate in locked settings. These
are more notebooks than journal. Details of meetings with or on behalf of
clients; follow-up notes; drafts for hearing testimony; interview statements.
A good amount, but not all, of what was written here become the start points
of reports. They are all in composition books. I have been maintaining them
since 1993. (3) Online journaling. Long before the term “blog”
existed (since 1993 or 1994) I began to maintain an online journal or web log,
beginning on Prodigy. The content of those early weblogs are gone. In one
case a server went out of business and everything I had documented
disappeared when their computers shut off. I continue online journaling in a
mostly irregular basis on a BlogSpot account. (4) Facebook. I have been writing and
posting on this site for several years. Most of it is not personal; rather
more reflections on subjects and other things that interest, intrigue, pique
or perturb me. …along with liked memes and cat anecdotes. |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||
What
physical form does your journal take? Spiral-bound, cahier, oilcloth
sketchbook, Moleskin, etc.? What materials do you use to fill it? Pen,
pencil, charcoal, paint, collage, etc.? |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||
v My
preference is a hard-bound notebook with a black cover. This is what I was
first introduced to in 1980. I like to be able to use both sides of the page.
I am not concerned about the manufacturer of the book (e.g. “moleskin”) but I
like to be able to use both sides of the page, prefer unlined pages, acid
free paper with a paper weight of at least 60 lbs. My favorite sized book is
5-1/2 x 8-1/2 (14x21 cm) though I have used soft cover sketchbooks and one or
two spiral bound books of various sizes. The size noted, however, is easy to
carry with me almost all the time without drawing a lot of attention to it. v With rare exception, I have written in the
journals with a Pilot Precise “V” Series pen. It is close to a mechanical pen
in construction, and over time I have found the ink is of a low acid content
and doesn’t bleed through the pages. v I
have also sketched in the journals pasted in items as keepsakes and made an
occasional collage. v Watercolor
(using a “dry brush technique) and pen/ink sketches. I don’t use pastel, soft
pencil or charcoal because I am concerned about it smearing on the pages. v I’ve made collage pages, and inserted
photographs. v Many times (not always) I have affixed
things on to the covers of the notebooks. Once I did a collage that
encompassed both covers. Often, with the smaller books, the intent is to make
distinct one volume from others, or to easily discern front from back. |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||
When
did you start keeping a journal, and why did you start? Why do you continue?
(If you’ve stopped, or if you previously stopped keeping a journal for a
period of time, why?) |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||
v I have been journaling since high school;
initially in a composition book. I also maintained a paste-in scrapbook from
1969 until 1981. Unfortunately I discarded these documents. If they still exist,
they do so only under piles of detritus in the Bristol CT land fill. At the
time I thought the materials in the bound documents no longer reflected “where I was at” intellectually. Almost
from the day I disposed of them (together with a couple of collages on
Masonite board) I regretted so doing. v The
journals I have maintained since 1980 starting when a friend (Michael Takas,
stationed at the Plattsburgh AFB) gave me a blank unlined hardcover journal. That first journal was one of two
gifts. The first was a pen. Mike prefaced giving that to me by saying “I know how much you like to write”. The second, a wrapped book (evident
from his sloppy wrapping). He was well known for bringing new books to the
attention of others and he prefaced my opening the book by saying, “I know how much you like to read.” When I opened this package and saw
nothing but blank pages, I looked at him, perplexed. He smiled and said, “ I guess you’ll just have to write it
before you read it, won’t you.” It was not a question. I took it as a
challenge. I continue to this day. v There
have been times that I stepped away from diligent journal-keeping; in part
because it seemed that too much was going on in my life that I didn’t have
time to write. v Why
do I continue? It feels right. |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||
How
often do you write in your journal? If you keep a consistent schedule with
journal-writing, how is that routine significant for you? |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||
v I don’t write every single day. I can go
for periods of writing nothing, then suddenly fill up 20 or 30 pages in a
single sitting or over a couple of days. Completion of a volume has taken as
long as two years, as briefly as two months. |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||
What
do you write about in your journal? Personal experiences, memories, dreams,
hopes, fears, observations, conversations, fragmentary impressions, thoughts,
questions, etc.? |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||
v Yes. All of that. |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||
What
non-narrative writing (some might say non-literary or “non-writerly”
writing), if any, appears in your journal? To-do lists, instructions,
recipes, drafts/outlines, etc.? |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||
v I have kept notes from meetings I have
attended, often in a kind of short-hand that would be difficult for someone
else to understand what I have written about, even if the words are legible
(which – at times – they are not) v Rough drafts of poems or essays v Interesting quotes I have heard or read v Book titles and authors; Music CD titles
and musicians; Film DVD notes v The names of people I’d heard on a radio
show, and brief mention of what they were being interviewed for and about ~
regrettably, I’ll often neglect to identify the date I heard the broadcast v Weather observations v Story ideas v Notes on a range of subjects from mental
health (I work in a psychiatric facility), incarceration; the environment;
local governance issues (I serve on three town boards and a couple of other
organizations); hunting and fishing and camping observations (occasionally) v Shopping lists (rarely) v Recipes (on occasion, rarely, however) |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||
What
non-written content, if any, appears in your journal? Photos, paintings,
drawings, found objects, etc.? |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||
v Photos; paintings; drawings, doodles;
found objects (flat ones); concert or event tickets; labels from gourmet
cheeses or wine; sometimes dried leaves or flowers. |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||
How
do you organize your journal’s page(s)? Do you use blank, lined, or squared
paper? Do you begin each entry on a new page? How important is the layout
design of text/images and use of blank space on each page? |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||
v This varies. When I first began keeping
my journals, I would labor long over how the page would be laid out. Perhaps
this is because I had been trained as a typesetter, and had long worked in
printing and pre-press production. As I continued the practice of keeping a
journal, this became less critical; at the same time, I have become much
better at visualizing what it is I want to say, and set a limit on how much
space I wish to use to say it. v I tend to work at keeping a thought to
one or two pages; if something goes longer than this, I try to continue to
the end of whatever subsequent pages it takes to complete a thought or muse
about a specific topic. v Although layout and design is not always
critical, I find that entries often get written on the page in a justified
column format. To accomplish this requires that I give some thought to how I
structure my sentences, and a bit of advance thought in how I want to say
something from line to line. This, by the way, is a format
completely disregarded when I’m at a meeting and taking notes on the topics
discussed, or my observations about things at a meeting. v Travel: Multi day trips are out of the
loop. I’ll tend to do a multi paged writing and collage style entry that
gives a sense of what the trip was like and what was done during the trip. |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||
When
you write in your journal, do you write with a real or imagined reader in
mind? Do you write primarily for yourself? How important to you is the
privacy of your journal? |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||
v While I am circumspect in sharing the
journal’s contents with others, - since when I first began keeping the
journals I assumed that someone else my chance upon a volume and read it. As
a result, there is some self-censorship that goes on while writing. I’m not
so likely to vent about frustrations regarding other people (public figures
exempted from this “rule”), and in general I tend not to jot down my most
innermost thoughts about myself. v The “audience”? Around the time I began
keeping a journal, a bit before it, actually, I’d seen an article in “the magazine
Antiques” about an ordinary man who lived during the mid-19th
century, before, during and after the US Civil War. He wrote his thoughts,
made sketches, and kept tallies of events and costs of things. The journal
eventually comprised multiple volumes. It wasn’t clear that he ever wrote
them for anyone other than himself. Decades later, the journals were
rediscovered and written about. I don’t know if they were actually published.
However, this discovery set the tone for me and I have often, if not always,
written with the thought that someday my own journals would be rediscovered
by someone in the future. As a result, part of my efforts at journaling are
to be a chronicle of the times in which I live, and my perspective on what is
happening in the world from my vantage point. v I do, on occasion, share my journals,
without hesitation, with a small coterie of friends and acquaintances, and
permit them to read without me being present to “edit” from reading specific
content. v I used to be more expansive with sharing
my entries; now only a couple of people see the journal’s contents. In
general, fewer folks ask about what I am writing, but I am more often asked
to show folks what I might have drawn. Do others assume writing is more
private while sketching is not? Don’t know. |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Does
your journal-writing have a distinct voice? Does the “narrator” of your
journal seem to have an identifiable persona? Either way, describe the
relationship between yourself and the self you encounter in the pages of your
journal. |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||
v I’m not sure I’ve ever thought of this.
I’ve never had any question that I am the “narrator”. While I have come
across the writings of others who refer to even themselves in third person,
I’ve never felt distant from what I have written. v For the moment I shall contrast how I
post entries on Facebook, where only a small number of entries are direct,
personal accounts or opinions. The “identifiable persona” on my Facebook page
is more impersonal; the “me” and what interests me, is present by implication.
I post an item because it has piqued my curiosity, raised my ire, seemed
worthy of my support (without much effort to have to explain) or raises a
subject I consider merits further exploration or review. v I believe the journals do have a distinct
voice. It is closer to my inner vision of the world, and how I choose to
express myself about life. |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Is
your journal a self-contained document, or is it primarily a space where you
brainstorm ideas for work you do elsewhere? |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||
v The journal now spans many volumes. While
I make use of the pages to brainstorm ideas, and have taken things from
individual journal volumes for use elsewhere [more about that under “anything else”] it would be difficult to
consider any single volume as a “self-contained” document. Together they are
a continuation of my thoughts, a chronical of my life and the times in which
I live. v I suppose it would be safe to say that –
as a project – it is one on which I have worked longer than any other project
I’ve put myself to doing. It may never be complete. |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||
How
do you end a journal you’ve filled, and what do you do with the journal once
it’s finished? How do you decide what sort of new journal to begin, and how
do you prepare to begin it? |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||
v When I get close to the end of the
usable pages of a particular volume, I may do some pages that “sum up” how I
think of things in my life and of the world and its doings. Other times I
just stop because there is no more space in which to write. v There have been some journal volumes,
for whatever reasons (misplaced the book, or I’d been keeping two concurrent
volumes). A couple of times I tried separating the volumes by “writing”
versus “sketching” or started a few based on a specific topic ~ that never
worked. Then time would pass, and I’d moved on, and never went back to the
incomplete volume because I didn’t want to mess with time and sequence. v Often, when I begin a new volume I take
more time to a more thoughtful layout design of a page; I may offer a couple
of summary pages on where my thoughts are on specific topics (most often
about land use and conservation; mental health or human rights issues,
geopolitics, or such). As a volume gets more involved – taking quick notes,
for example, the clarity of images fades, my handwriting gets more sloppy) v But the very first thing I do, in every
volume, is to write in my name, contact information, a copyright/date symbol,
and the approximate date the volume was started. I once lost a volume, and
the fact that this information was already in there, certainly made it
possible to get it returned. |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||
How has journal-writing changed you? Is
it or has it become an important part of your identity? How do you feel your
identity has informed and shaped your journal-writing? (You can consider your
“identity” however you like, but feel free to consider specific categories
such as your gender, sexuality, race, ethnicity, nationality, class, age,
faith, ability, mental health, geography, profession, educational background,
family structure, etc.) |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||
v Hmm. Tough to say if journaling has
“changed” me. I have kept journals for so long I’m not certain what or how it
has contributed to my personality. v The Journal IS a part of my identity in that if I go somewhere without
either a journal or camera people will ask where the journal is, and why do I
not have it with me. v My “identity” fits into many categories.
I have written on or entered materials related to, many different subjects
including:
v All of the above and, I am certain, other
subjects, contribute in the shaping of my content, writing, thoughts and
journal entries |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Anything
else? |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||
v Excising
content: Back in 1991 another painter and I were invited post an exhibition
of our works in a venue that had over 300 feet of linear wall space. Rather
than repaint and re-sketch images that I’d done in various journal volumes I
cut them out and framed them. I had three other shows in the next couple of
years, and some of the pieces got sold, so I no longer have what would have
been the rough drafts of finished work. I ought to have taken the time and
made new copies of the works to place in the show. Since then a couple of people
have asked if I would remove pages from a journal in order to include the
images in a show, but I have declined these offers. v Collaborations: The entries in my
journals are almost entirely my own, though on rare occasions I have allowed
others to write or sketch in my journals. Early in the year 2000 I
participated in something known as the “1000 Journals” project. I was able to
start one of the journals (#742) before sending it abroad. [http://www.1000journals.com/about/]
I was also invited to swap journals for an evening with another journal
keeper (she started # 526) in the project who lived in Middletown CT. |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Technical
notes |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||
v When affixing paper (photos, maps, etc.)
into and onto a page, over time I have found that yellow wood glue (Elmer’s™,
or Titebond™ most often) has been the most
effective. It doesn’t bleed through to the other side of the page (when using
60 lb. paper) and the adherence success is superior to standard white paste,
mucilage or glue sticks. v On many occasions the cover of a journal
would begin to separate from the bindings. The WORST thing to use to repair
it was duct tape, since the adhesive in that can heat up and melt (especially
in the summer), making a mess of the cover. Now I try to catch this earlier,
and have even re-glued the outer spine to the sewn binding section. I
continue to use tape, but limit it to shipping/packing tape, which, while not
preferred, doesn’t exhibit the same problems that arose with duct tape. v |