living with cancer - watchful waiting

I am a patient man but when waiting for a medical procedure to be started I don't have a lot of experience with this, so I talk to other people and scan the internet.

For the second source, I am more cautious; don't want to get caught up with laetrile [apricot pits or B-17 mega-doses] or psychic energy bracelets, since I suspect that mucking about with experimental therapies [the former] and placebos [the latter] may be a bit late in the game, and, besides, does B. even want to consider then now?

But treatment hasn't started, in large measure due to other complications that might be minor when having a broken leg recast; but major when considering the potential effects of chemo if, say, one's immune system is already compromised.

So I am drawn to learn more about the idea of "watchful waiting." Watchful waiting is not a euphemism for doing nothing, but rather it is the decision to delay treatment in favor of careful monitoring for the progression of cancer. Watchful waiting may also be referred to as expectant management, conservative management, observation, or surveillance.

I realize that some of the sources I have looked at identify cancers other than esophageal cancer, but I suspect there is wisdom to be gleaned from these other sites as well.

Cancer Research UK notes that

"...It is hard enough to cope with a diagnosis of cancer. If you then have to wait a few weeks or months to have scans, or begin treatment, you are likely to feel very frightened and frustrated. Many begin to worry that the cancer will spread during this time. But cancers usually grow very slowly and this is not likely. Most cancers develop over many years and do not show up on a scan until they have been growing for some time. So waiting a few weeks for a scan or treatment does not usually affect how well the treatment works.
     You will start your treatment sooner if your doctor feels your treatment is urgent. Your doctors would not make you wait weeks for treatment if they thought it was going to reduce your chance of being successfully treated.
     It may help to let your doctor know if you are worried about waiting for your treatment. It is likely they will be able to reassure you that although waiting a few weeks for treatment is very hard, overall it will not change your outcome."

Of course, on weekends, the specialists are not likely to be around to reassure you. And the on call doctor may or may not know anything about your case, condition, or frame of mind.

As one sitting beside the bed, the angst remains high as well. But, as the folks say, you watch and wait. I pray for an end to the set backs.

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RESEARCH SOURCES: 1- Cancer Research UK ~ Waiting times for tests after diagnosis; 2- Prostate Cancer Treatment Guide ~ Watchful Waiting Description; 3- The Wandering Visitor ~ Are you the on-call doctor?

small businesses - indy booksellers

THIS IS AN UNSOLICITED PLUG!
Printed Matter, Inc.
195 Tenth Avenue, New York, NY 10011

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My online pal and art-chapbook impresario Billy Miller turned me on to this bookstore. Printed Matter promotes itself as "the world's greatest source for artists' publications" and after seeing their storefront in person, I may have to agree.

From their website's description:

"Printed Matter''s mission is to foster the appreciation, dissemination, and understanding of artists' publications, which we define as books or other editioned publications conceived by artists as art works, or, more succinctly, as "artwork for the page." Printed Matter specializes in publications produced in large, inexpensive editions and therefore does not deal in "book arts" or "book objects" which are often produced in smaller, more expensive editions due to the craft and labor involved in their fabrication."

I was able to make a visit last June, and found myself in awe at the variety of creative and original chapbooks on sale in front, but that delight paled after seeing [only for a moment] the second half of the store with a library-like tableaux of art books, most of them of fairly recent publication.

Don't go there seeking those glossy "livres de luxe" [often printed in China or Italy] that sell in mass market booksellers as lures to get you in the venue.

Printed Matter’s founders subscribe to the idea of the artist''s book as "artwork for the page," focusing on publications produced in editions of one hundred or more. They envision these publications as democratizing ~ and inexpensive ~ artworks that could be consumed alongside the more traditional output of paintings, drawings, sculptures or photography. The art books at the shop are not simply catalogues of pre-existing work, but works in their own right.

The organization maintains a public reading room where over 15,000 titles by 5,000 international artists are available for viewing and purchase. In addition to being a wholesale and retail distribution hub for artists’ books, they offer a free consulting service to libraries, art institutions, and art professionals involved with artists’ books throughout the world.

I'll go there again. First I have to build a new set of bookshelves, maybe even a new room on the house; then increase my line of credit on the mortgage/equity; then thrash that out with Bruce... because even if the individual volumes are inexpensive, I might want to buy many.

Printed Matter is also the sponsor of the NY Art Book Fair, scheduled for November 5–7 at MoMA PS1, Long Island City, Queens. Free and open to the public, the Fair hosts over 200 international presses, booksellers, antiquarian dealers, artists and publishers from twenty countries, offering the best in contemporary art book publishing.

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IMAGE CREDITS: 1- Printed Matter storefront Le Cool Cats Blog; 2- Jillian Lauren's Blog, an ongoing monologue from a decidedly interesting author and mom.

original work - Time Machine

photos - Holiday Hill Resort

My two favorite picture captures from the AFSCME Picnic

events - AFSCME picnic

Connecticut's Senatorial hopeful Richard Blumenthal was at the AFSCME Council 4 picnic held at Holiday Hill, in Bethany. We spoke for almost two minutes. I had not known he was going to be there, but was glad to have met is acquaintance. He said he knew my name; plausible since I've gotten mail from his office alerting me of situations about which patients had written him.

But it is the picnic itself that I found more intriguing.

It terms of ethnic mix, if the attendance (which was pretty impressive in size) is typical, Council 4 members are pretty diverse. Yet I could not help but be dismayed that people flocked together at tables mostly by apparent ethnic groups.

When I asked one of the folks from the New Britain office (she was Latina), the guess was that, encouraging diversity notwithstanding, people still hang with those they feel they know closest.

I should also note that the seating was in contrast from folks milling about, and ~ later ~ dancing. Especially dancing; on the floor folks mixed and matched with greater ease.

Had I known more about the location before I'd gone, I definitely would have brought a swimsuit.

The locale was idyllic in appearance; the food tasty and plentiful.

The workers, mostly summer-job college kids, were not members of any union local themselves. Small Irony.

historic events - MLK's I have a Dream Speech

I say to you today, my friends, that in spite of the difficulties and frustrations of the moment, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.

I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal."

I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at a table of brotherhood.

I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a desert state, sweltering with the heat of injustice and oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.

I have a dream that my four children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.

I have a dream today.

I have a dream that one day the state of Alabama, whose governor's lips are presently dripping with the words of interposition and nullification, will be transformed into a situation where little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls and walk together as sisters and brothers.

I have a dream today.

I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight, and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together.

This is our hope. This is the faith with which I return to the South. With this faith we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day.

This will be the day when all of God's children will be able to sing with a new meaning, "My country, 'tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing. Land where my fathers died, land of the pilgrim's pride, from every mountainside, let freedom ring."

And if America is to be a great nation this must become true. So let freedom ring from the prodigious hilltops of New Hampshire. Let freedom ring from the mighty mountains of New York. Let freedom ring from the heightening Alleghenies of Pennsylvania!

Let freedom ring from the snowcapped Rockies of Colorado!

Let freedom ring from the curvaceous peaks of California!

But not only that; let freedom ring from Stone Mountain of Georgia!

Let freedom ring from Lookout Mountain of Tennessee!

Let freedom ring from every hill and every molehill of Mississippi. From every mountainside, let freedom ring.

When we let freedom ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual, "Free at last! free at last! thank God Almighty, we are free at last!"

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Speak your mind about this historic day.

culture of violence

distractions - Oktapodi

Two octopuses help each other in their escape from the grasps of a stubborn restaurant cook. However, even after overcoming insurmountable odds to reunite, their fight to stay together is not over.

quiet time

There have been so many things going on right now ~ federal government overseers at work; near to daily trips to the hospital to visit; updates from my brother on the west coast; arts proposals to join or be more involved with shows; moving "stuff" for people [the dubious rewards of owning a pick up truck]; town meetings; that what I sometimes wish I had more of was some quiet time.

My partner doesn't thinks so; but instead stews at home waiting for me to show up and visit. That kind of home-coming doesn't usually bode well, either. He notes, well, you've been alone in your truck driving everywhere.

But driving alone in my pick-up truck is not quiet time. ...there's too much taking place I need to pay attention on the road ...thank God I'm not a texter.

The other day BillP commented that I was able to sit for long periods of time without moving. I agreed. That's what I want to do when I'm alone.

I'm thinking more of time spent with no one but the elements [and the occasional building, such as the one seen here] to let my head clear out psychic excesses.

It's hunting season soon. Maybe I need to find a good place for a treestand, and not even bother bringing the bow.

travel - Meriden, Ct

On the way from New Haven to New Britain.

living with cancer - communications at the hospital

The patient should have an opportunity to ask questions to elicit a better understanding of the
treatment or procedure, so that he or she can make an informed decision to proceed or to refuse
a particular course of medical intervention.

This communications process, or a variation thereof, is both an ethical obligation
and a legal requirement spelled out in statutes and case law in all 50 states.
American Medical Association / Web page describing "Informed Consent"

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Last week Bill developed what might have been a "mild" case of pneumonia, however "mild" a lung infection can be at the same time one is hospitalized for cancer.

I suspect he even knew ~ intuitively ~ that he had contracted it. He'd been coughing some one day last week when I visited. We went downstairs, sat in the yard between buildings one/two and the older complex, and he mentioned something about getting an infection.

He did not go for radiation/chemo on Friday. Sat the weekend anticipating going Monday but when that came nothing happened. Oh, no, he was moved to a new ward. We knew that was coming.

I called early this morning to find out what was going on. Today, he learned at 1130 that he was not going for treatment again today. No reason provided. He got anxious. Over the phone I heard someone telling that someone from oncology was coming to see him.

Still with no answers I left work to see what was going on. As I was pulling into the VA Center, a call came from the oncology team. He had pneumonia. Yes we told him. He ought to have known that we won't treat him while he's getting antibiotics... but not to worry since the growth is slow and this should be resolved by the end of the week [meaning, I suppose, that treatments start next week].

One of the most frustrating things to deal with is not knowing. As I drove toward the center [made it in record time ~ less than half an hour] I kept thinking the worst. This is a repeat concern. Bill keeps asking to be told what's going on. So do I.

Might have to just move in and park myself in order to know what is going on.

Again, all that said, people working here are not uncaring; too busy sometimes, perhaps ~ which can happen at most any hospital. Yet the docs don't communicate their knowledge until after the frustration tipping point. Don't they get it? In the process of being an informed consenter getting the details from the docs does not seem to be too much to ask for.

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IMAGE CREDIT: Lungs Home Health which touts iteslef as "the UK's leading provider of drug testing products, pregnancy tests, ovulation tests, DNA Paternity Tests and home testing kits. The image was found at What Are Lungs?, a webpage put together by Nandini Thogarapalli, a grade five student at Dr. E.W. Coffin School, Calgary, Canada, as a science project that looks at lung cancer.

natural phenomena - salt water marine life

This is one of BillP's favorite pictures; one of mine, too.

Taken at Mystic Marine Aquarium, mostly clownfish and anemones. I took it indoors, using available light. While there is some reflection off the outer tank glass, very little is evident, even when the image was pushed and printed at 20x30 inches. What there is does not detract.

When we went to the aquarium, Bill said that he thought he might like to be a manta ray when reincarnated, gliding about unimpeded by sharks.



I pray that it takes a long time before he's able to pick up on that option.

frenzy - Islamophobia

PILGRIMS
can't help but be disappointed and chagrined watching bigots and fanatics hogging the airwaves ~ and getting ~ attention to publicize their own massive levels of ignorance and stupidity while prattling on about the so-called "Ground Zero Mosque" which will be neither at the former World Trade Towers site nor a mosque.

Inspired, in part, by a growing anti-Muslim sentiments in Europe, the loosely aligned 21st-Century know-nothing Tea Party "movement" has also spawned its own versions of fanatical vitupertates, such as extremists like Pamela Geller.
The ideological flames then fanned by corporate media giants who think they stand to gain by war profiteering [GE owned NBC] or megalomaniacal egotism [Rupert Murdoch's FOX].

I am not Muslim, but I was fortunate enough to learn about Islam as a teenager; first from a Catholic School chum who, taught by some pretty strict nuns, became enamored with Islam. He introduced me to the Meaning of the Glorious Koran penned by British scholar Mohammad Marmaduke Pickthall. Later, I came across what I thought to be a more lyrical English transliteration ~ The Koran Interpreted, by A.J. Arberry, a renowned Orientalist and Professor of Arabic. Both translations have their shortcomings with regard to mistakes of omission and mistranslation, but these two were invaluable in helping me first to be exposed to Islam, and, later, to be more appreciative and understanding of the beliefs of literally billions of people on the planet.

living with cancer - day one chemo/radiation

Getting started on cancer treatment is a bit like driving into a dark tunnel with no directionals.

I don't know if my friend had his first treatment today. Nursing staff in the afternoon they can't say for sure that he went to the cancer center; the nurse only knew that he was on the ward when she came on duty.

A different nurse, later on, reports that his ride didn't pick him up on time, but remains equally uncertain if he'd gone today for treatment [Shouldn't that be in the record?].

What is certain is that he was moved to a new ward, with nurses who don't know him nor his quirks and eccentricities.

I expect I'll hear a rasher asking "...is it bark or bite" when he lashes out loud and verbal. [It's bark, basically] He's in pain! He's got esophageal cancer! ...and nobody's taking the time to either explain all this or provide a bit of TLC. Surely nursing is more than reading blood pressure gauges and finding another vein to stick.

occupational health - how bug spray works

This is here because of a search I did on "paradoxical effects" of psychiatric medications. What I found was an article written by J K Palmer, associate professor of psychology, at Eastern Kentucky University.
      The article is interesting and relevant since the article first talks about the brain's neurons communicate with one another, and how drugs affect that communication process. Read down and you'll find that a chemical known as Acetylcholine is used by the neurons that control your muscles, heart, and lungs. It is also used by many neurons in the brain that are involved in memory. Acetylcholine crosses the brain synapses and tells the muscles to extend by stimulating the receptor sites on the muscles.
     When nerve signals are terminated this is called “reuptake”. Acetylcholine is rapidly broken down by a chemical called acetylcholinesterase. Have you ever looked at the fine print on a bottle of Prozac, Paxil, or Zoloft? It says in there that the drug is a “selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor” (SSRI).
     Now, read the fine print on a can of insecticide. For some of them, it says that the active ingredient is an “acetylcholinesterase inhibitor”. So, the same effect that we see with bug spray, can be facilitated by SSRIs. You do the math.
     As an FYI, nicotine directly stimulates acetylcholine receptors. Alzheimer’s disease results when these acetylcholine-using neurons in the brain die. [As an aside, does this new info about bug spray provide us any fresh insights on the actions of former US Senator and insect exterminator Tom DeLay?]

poetry - in the accupuncture workshop

In the acupuncture workshop

the breeze closes one door
then opens another - literally

Each of us comes seeking healing
for maladies never discussed.

Then we wait.
and participate in the group
wherein we do not speak
yet get connected.

I have no idea if this treatment will work.

If this seems disconcerting I wonder -
How much different is this
from a blind-faith trust in medication
and otherwise invasive procedures
Such as they are.

So many have faith without even knowing
If those procedures work at all

Give me then, instead
The cool breeze that opened the door.

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IMAGE CREDIT: Mysteries Zone.com Acupuncture: Traditional Chinese Medicine

hunting - hunter safety courses

The Connecticut Department of Environmental Protection has begun taking applications for upcoming Conservation Education/Firearms Safety Program classes.

It is recommended that you enroll early in the year and not wait until a month before the hunting seasons begin. Courses fill up quickly and you may have to wait or travel a longer distance to attend a course if none are available in your town. Where courses are taught varies from town to town and includes such locations as sportsmen's clubs, community centers, schools and offices of the Department of Environmental Protection. There are no fees for any of the courses and all materials are provided free of charge by the Conservation Education/Firearms Safety Program.

Anyone wising to enroll must do so through the DEP regional office [the closest one to me is in Franklin, CT]. You can also find where classes are being offered around the state.

FRANKLIN WILDLIFE MANAGEMENT AREA - 391 Route 32, North Franklin
Hours: Monday through Friday, 8:30 a.m. - 4:30 p.m. | Phone: (860) 642-7239

Pre-Registration is Mandatory. All firearms hunting courses are 16 hours or longer. You must attend all scheduled class times.

Preparing for hunting is more than this set of classes. Tree Stand Safety can be important, too. Improper use of tree stands is one of the most common causes for injuries and death to hunters in the field. For free online instruction on the proper use of tree stands and safety harnesses, go to this website on tree stand Safety.

By the way, you don't have to go out hunting [for which one should be licensed, anyway] to benefit from taking hunting, firearms or bow hunting safety courses. They are good cram courses on some of the many things a person ought to know when hiking in the woods anyway.

May be of particular interest to photographers, budding naturalists, plein-air painters and anyone interested in responsible use of firearms.

art + artists - public art

From the Fairmount Park Art Association website ~ a thoughtful read


What is public art?
     Public art is not an art “form.” Its size can be huge or small. It can tower fifty feet high or call attention to the paving beneath your feet. Its shape can be abstract or realistic (or both), and it may be cast, carved, built, assembled, or painted. It can be site-specific or stand in contrast to its surroundings. What distinguishes public art is the unique association of how it is made, where it is, and what it means. Public art can express community values, enhance our environment, transform a landscape, heighten our awareness, or question our assumptions. Placed in public sites, this art is there for everyone, a form of collective community expression. Public art is a reflection of how we see the world—the artist’s response to our time and place combined with our own sense of who we are.

Who is the “public” for public art?
     In a diverse society, all art cannot appeal to all people, nor should it be expected to do so. Art attracts attention; that is what it is supposed to do. Is it any wonder, then, that public art causes controversy? Varied popular opinion is inevitable, and it is a healthy sign that the public environment is acknowledged rather than ignored. To some degree, every public art project is an interactive process involving artists, architects, design professionals, community residents, civic leaders, politicians, approval agencies, funding agencies, and construction teams. The challenge of this communal process is to enhance rather than limit the artist’s involvement.

What is the “art” of public art?
     As our society and its modes of expression evolve, so will our definitions of public art. Materials and methods change to reflect our contemporary culture. The process, guided by professional expertise and public involvement, should seek out the most imaginative and productive affinity between artist and community. Likewise, artists must bring to the work their artistic integrity, creativity, and skill. What is needed is a commitment to invention, boldness, and cooperation—not compromise.

Why public art?
     Public art is a part of our public history, part of our evolving culture and our collective memory. It reflects and reveals our society and adds meaning to our cities. As artists respond to our times, they reflect their inner vision to the outside world, and they create a chronicle of our public experience.

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Adapted from Public Art in Philadelphia by Penny Balkin Bach (Temple University Press, Philadelphia, 1992).
IMAGES: 1 - Philadelphia Museum of Art / Dali Exhibition ~ May 2005; 2 - Nymph / Goodspeed Opera Foundation ~ October 2008; Elephant Graffiti / Paris ~ April 2007; 4 - Chainsaw sculpture / Middletown, CT ~ September 2004; 5 - Sculpture, Parc Emily Gamelin / Montreal ~ May 2006. Click on the images to see larger representations.

original work - Hot Dog Vendor

events - Burning Man

Oh, one of my long fantasies would be to attend a Burning Man event at Black Rock City, in Nevada, USA. I suspect that isn't happening this year.

Hot town, summer in the city
Back of my neck getting dirty and gritty
Come-on come-on and dance all night
Despite the heat it will be all right
... In the summer, in the city
In the summer, in the city
— Lovin Spoonful

This team Apokiliptika will be there.

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IMAGE CREDIT: Pavilion of the Man - Rendering by Andrew Johnstone - Design by Rod Garrett and Larry Harvey Burningman.com

distractions - Dr. Laura's secret obsession

     Want to know what Dr. Laura Schisslinger is doing when not busy berating callers by repeatedly calling them the "N" word? Maybe she is giving advice on how to get a dirty sweaty man cleaned up ~ "...take a shower with him".

     No, she's also making jewelry! She is particularly fond of "WEIRD PEARLS"! But likes weird stuff in general. Who would have known?

mental health - Recovery is not treatment

"Recovery" is not a "treatment modality". For at least three decades [longer, if you go back to Clifford Beers] advocates, ex-patients and dispassionate observers have repeatedly argued that people can and often do, "recover" from long lasting disabling, debilitating conditions and experiences.
     At the same time, the idea was scoffed and dismissed by high ranking administrators and clinicians, citing [still] the ghosts of Kraepelin and Beuler as the rationale for why such an idea was untenable. "People don't recover from 'mental illness.' Their lives are lost and so is any hope for them doing much better" the clinical careerists would steadfastly maintain.
     Little or no thought was given to asking patients in mental hospitals what might be their wishes, hopes, dreams, or aspirations to achieve.
     Bean-counting bureaucrats spoke of "bed spaces," "treatment modalities" and "managed care." They asked drug companies when "the next miracle drug cure" would get people out of institutions and back on the streets.
     The standard response to those who had different ideas about treatment, care or rehabilitation, was to ignore them, keep them from the decision making process and to demean and invalidate the critical voices that offered options.
     Now, times have changed. Budget constraint called for innovation and "outcomes." Major funding sources started telling them that "recovery is good"! Gradually, those same clinicians and bureaucrats who walk past patients without seeing them took up the call.
     However, while the language has been embraced, other obstacles remain. "Clients" get wheedled and cajoled to large group meetings and say the process is "patient driven." Abusive staff and practices continue unabated. Known wrongs that take place fail to get "substantiated" when only patients witness those wrongs.
     How can this be? That bureaucrat driving his new custom SUV to the workplace while the patient gets penalized by Title 19 with "spend-downs" on maybe less than $500 a month. Patient driven huh!
     Folks, you don't have a clue.
     Admittedly, the samples mentioned oversimplify the problems inherent in social injustice and lack regard for people with mental illnesses. Administrators, Nurse Educators and other who shape professional opinion are still no different than the society at large. But my point would be the same no matter what quick capsule glimpse got noted.
     Recovery is not a treatment modality! The reasons people can and do recover are many and multifarious. But they come as much [or more] from within.
     "Recovery" may or may not include taking medications. For John Nash [the subject of the film A Beautiful Mind] they by and large did NOT, no matter what the film said.
     "Recovery" may or may not include assistance from mental health programs. In the case of survivors in the Vermont Longitudinal Study in 1987, for a goodly number it was in spite of what services the "system" provided.
     Recovery is a process It involves learning to live with complex and inexplicable phenomena [that many may call delusional], of freedom from unrealistic pressures to "get over" that phenomena within discrete time frame, and of being considered, cared for and loved as a fellow human being by others. Simple as that.
     How much more difficult this is to achieve in a society and culture that does not value those souls who are not immediately responsive to time-motion-study lifestyles. So challenging to those who drive efficient bureaucrats to distraction with abstruse, and often unexplainable questions. In the long run, it may call for dramatic and complete changes in cultural attitudes and norms, not something so easy to implement when it isn't even discussed.
     So...if you, the fashionably dressed mental health careerist can grasp this, then next time you wish to speak to someone -anyone, even one of your professional colleagues- about "Recovery" for people with living dramatic, even severe, cognitive / perceptual dissonance, then do so only after you actually drop your important paperwork and pre-occupation with meetings and give someone the time, energy and effort to sit with and actually get to know some of those persons who walk past you daily, but of whom you only know by diagnosis. Incidentally, it's a whole lot cheaper than funding the psycho-pharmaceutical companies, but takes longer to see results.
     Now that would be a step toward recovery.

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SOME RESOURCES: Clifford Beers' A Mind That Found Itself, National Empowerment Center, MindFreedom, Mary Ellen Copeland's Self-help Strategies

geek stuff - websites to explore

 • Free Software Foundation: The Free Software Foundation (FSF) is a nonprofit with a worldwide mission to promote computer user freedom and to defend the rights of all free software users.
     * The FSF advocates for free software ideals as outlined in the Free Software Definition, works for adoption of free software and free media formats, and organizes activist campaigns against threats to user freedom like Windows 7, Apple's iPhone and OS X, DRM on ebooks and movies, and software patents.
     * We promote completely free software distributions of GNU/Linux, and advocate that users of the GNU/Linux operating system switch to a distribution which respects their freedom.
     * We drive development of the GNU operating system and maintain a list of high-priority free software projects to promote replacements for common proprietary applications.
     * We build and update resources useful for the free software community like the Free Software and Hardware Directories, and the free software jobs board. We also provide licenses for free software developers to share their code, including the GNU General Public License..

 • Photoshop Support: Creating Favicons, a tutorial by Jennifer Apple, who says "A Favicon is a little custom icon that appears next to a website's URL in the address bar of a web browser. They also show up in your bookmarked sites, on the tabs in tabbed browsers, and as the icon for Internet shortcuts on your desktop or other folders in Windows. And when I say little, I mean 16 pixels by 16 pixels. So if you like a good design challenge try your hand at this one."

other voices - Edward Abbey

"May your trails be crooked, winding, lonesome, dangerous, leading to the most amazing view. May your mountains rise into and above the clouds.

"What is the purpose of the giant sequoia tree? The purpose of the giant sequoia tree is to provide shade for the tiny titmouse.

"Wilderness is not a luxury but a necessity of the human spirit".

Edward Abbey

distraction - lyp sync and dancing

other voices - Martin Luther King

"I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love
will have the final word in reality.
This is why right, temporarily defeated,
is stronger than evil triumphant."

Martin Luther King

history - Hiroshima

     I read John Hersey's Hiroshima in junior high school, as an assignment for my world history class.
     It was during the height of the Cold War, and before Vietnam and it was still common practice to conduct air-raid drills during the school day.
     The drills were where virtually everyone was herded into the inner hallways, and instructed where the civil defense supplies were kept. Before reading the book, the drills were kind of a joke; a way of getting out of class for an hour. But the reading had a sobering influence.
     Although I was well aware that the Rocky and Bullwinkle Show was blatant political propaganda, I lacked any strong awareness of peace activism, nor much of a political sense at all. Reading Hiroshima began to change that.
     After reading the book, my sense was that no windowless hallway could save anyone from an atomic blast. If anything, we'd either be vaporized or crushed to death under the rubble of a collapsing building. It also set the stage for how fearsome the Cuban Missle Crisis seemed to me.
     Afterwards, it seemed that Popular Culture became obsessed with knowing that the Kremlin and the White House would be in contact with one another ~ using the eponymous "red phone" ~ to avoid a nuclear war. The decades continued tense, but by the 1990s ~ even with other nations acquiring nuclear bomb making technology ~ we were lulled into imagining that a nuclear annihilation could be remote.
     Now, 65 years later, the possibility of a nuclear attack is no less real, though the potential perpetrators are less likely to be heads of States, and more likely they'd be disaffected dissidents, power crazed megalomaniacs ...or even some idiot thinking he'd make a profit (somehow). This possibility remains, whether the perpetrator is some middle-eastern religious fanatic [e.g. someone akin to Osama Bin Laden] or some middle-western political zealot [e.g. Timothy McVeigh]. Let's hold no doctrinaire fantasies about which "side" the perp might come from.
     So where do we go from here? How does the risk become less severe?
     I don't have an answer.

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IMAGE CREDITS: 1- Hiroshima LIFE; 2- Wikipedia; 3- BuzzFlash Blog. COMMENT: First published in the New Yorker, the editors recognized the impact that the article would have by providing a human face to the victims. Although four chapters were intended for serialization they decided to devote one entire issue only to it. There were no other articles and none of the magazine's signature cartoons.
     Readers, who had never before been exposed to nuclear war from the perspective of the actual people who lived through it, were quick to pick up copies, and the edition sold out within just a few hours. Shortly after it appeared, the Book-of-the-Month Club printed it and distributed it free of charge to all of its members. LINK: U S Department of Energy The Atomic Bombing of HIroshima

Big Pharma: financial fraud and false claims

"Pharmaceutical fraud is considered one of the top threats in financial fraud"
QUOTE: Sharon Ormsby, FBI Financial Fraud Unit

People & Power investigates fraud and corruption running through the veins of the US pharmaceutical industry.

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THANKS TO: Beta Sheep for bringing this to my attention. Too bad we have to look to off-shore news sources for this kind of reportage.

health care - contrasts

I work at a large inpatient psychiatric facility. As readers may surmise, of late, I've also been spending a lot of time at a large medical hospital. I can't help but find myself intrigued with the contrasts.

Attentiveness to care is one of the most glaring, as it were. At the medical facility, staff conducting routine checks on patients take time to speak with patients, they ask after their well-being, and respond to concerns about some fresh malady.

In contrast, where I work, there are many staff [not all] who seem to take umbrage about "being forced" to conduct a census, where all they do is fill in a check mark or an "X" on a pre-printed list to account for a patient on the unit. Forget about the niceties of taking a second to acknowledge the patient's presence.

I wonder how different my workplace might be if those who behave as if speaking to a patient is a demeaning imposition, actually took the time to show concern for the folks they are charged with taking care of.

Another contrast is the presence of numerous clinical specialists walking about and on the units ~ and on different work shifts ~ and speaking directly with patients about their current medical condition. In less than a week, I have been present on four separate occasions when different doctors actually came and spoke with my friend - at some length - about steps being taken in his care. One of the docs was a management level administrator in her discipline. I have observed this happening with other patients as well.

In contrast, unless the clinician is assigned to the unit, it is uncommon for specialists to speak with patients about their care or treatment. Even rarer for managerial personnel to show up on the patient wards at all.

Again, if they took they time, how might it affect the quality of care provided to the patients were I work? Just wondering.

friendships

Like lichens to rocks
friendships grow

slow and steady
deliberative and thoughtful

and at a certain point
they produce a beauty
that all can see

birthdays

A number of my friends are Leos. So here's a happy birthday tune for Nick, Dean, Bruce and Lorraine

fitful wanderings from the web

From Make magazine: How to design and create things without a computer. It is wonderful that we have the technology we do today, but it is a shame that the cost is losing the true craftsman.

Some advantages to having your own water source. Exposure to fluoride can be hazardous to your health. One health researcher refers to fluoride into public water supplies as "...forced medication for the masses."

Borderline Families. "Stories from Families Affected by Loved Ones with BPD." A site developed by a mother to "...share the story of how we struggled with [my daughter's] illness while searching for help. I found that borderline is not only treatment-resistant but often misdiagnosed. I was frustrated by the unreliable treatments offered and the lack of discussion." The objective is to share useful knowledge and information with others.
     My question: how many mental disorders discovered in the late 20th century are really a result of our race's tendency to spread toxins into ourselves and our environment?

Biodegradable gel being studied as treatment for esophageal cancer. The investigational drug, called OncoGel, is made of two major components, the ReGel drug delivery system, which is a gel made up of ingredients used in biodegradable stitches, and paxclitaxel, a well established, FDA-approved anti-cancer chemotherapy agent. Patients receive a one-time injection of OncoGel during an endoscopy.

From Addicting Info: Bills Republicans have blocked from passing into law:

 • Anti-Rape Amendment - Makes it so that women raped overseas while working for foreign contractors have the right to have their case heard in an American court instead of having their case mediated by the company they work for. Only Republican men voted against this.
 • Benefits for Homeless Veterans - Would have expanded benefits to homeless veterans and homeless veterans with children.
 • Health Care - Prevents insurance companies from discriminating against you on the basis of "pre-existing conditions".
 • Small business lending bill - would give LOCAL, community banks access to billions of dollars to loan to small businesses.
 • The Jobs Bill - Offsets the payroll tax for 1 year for companies that higher new employees, or people receiving unemployment insurance. Also gives other tax incentives to companies hiring new employees.
 • Financial reform - Puts stricter regulations on the banks, preventing them from becoming "too big to fail". Curbs reckless spending practices that caused the banking crisis.
 • Political Ad disclosure bill - Would have required all donors to political campaigns to reveal themselves.
...Wait! There's more!

Insightful reportage from a FOX News affiliate: Disturbing discovery of crabs filled with black substance.
     ACTUAL QUOTES:
     "A pair of fishermen in Mississippi made an alarming discovery that has many wondering what's happening below the surface in the Gulf of Mexico. They found several full-sized crabs filled with some sort of black substance."
     FOX 8 News reporter, Shelley Brown asked: "This is where the crabs live, on the bottom?" "Correct," answered Ladner and Mayne."
     Ladner said he couldn't sell shrimp even if they wanted too. He said some of the largest processing facilities in the country say they just can't buy from him right now because they say the sentiment around the country is that this oil and dispersant mix is at the bottom and in our seafood.
     "We've seen a lot of large fish since this has happened that are dead on the beach. We're seeing large bones like on days that are low tides like tonight.. mammals, turtle bones," Hancock County Hazardous Material lead liaison Jesse Fineran said.
     Emergency managers want to know what's causing this"

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IMAGE SOURCES: 1- Cancer cell being attacked by the immune system Alternative Cancer.net; 2- FOX Affiliate Newscaster Shelly Brown FOX 8 LIVE, New Orleans, LA.

living with cancer - Road less travelled

The directional signs remain unclear, though it is possible to guess their instruction.

The stress of a cancer diagnosis clearly rests on those close to the victim as well.

Not knowing what the next step might be, nor how to steer the vehicle to get to the desired site, makes one tired and unsure.

One man at the hospital, on the recovery end of surgery, soberly noted that he'd rather be in active combat than go through treatment again ~ the experience indescribable.

Nevertheless, he remained upbeat. Don't lose sight of the end goal, even if you cannot see it in the scope.

living with cancer - Going Haiku

""The price of freedom is visible here"

After four days into the admission with still no real communication from clinicians, Bill yelled out at the nurses. A diminutive, yet authoritative-acting foreign doctor gathers the troops around his bed to tell him he caused a freight by yelling [a behavioral anomaly readily addressed with anti-anxiety meds].

This group's "show of concern" at least provides him the chance to express his frustration's source. It seems the diminutive doctor, rather than having the courage to acknowledge she doesn't know the answers to his questions, instead responds to them by evasive language and seeming coy.

The man just learned he has cancer! Going haiku doesn't help.

When the doctor cannot answer a question ~ and instead avoids it ~ it is normal to assume the worst. On the other hand, a frank admission that you just don't know, while not providing satisfaction, is at least a lot more clear.

What is it about some doctors, so frail they interpret loudly stated verbal expressions of anguish, anger, frustration and loss as potential indicators of lack of control ...of mental illness !?!?!

The irony here is that the West Haven VA Hospital is riddled with posters offering help and assistance for combat veterans with PTSD. And while being diagnosed with cancer is not the same as combat stress, hearing you have cancer can be traumatic, it can be stressful. Is it too much to ask that all clinicians working there at least know this? I think not.

The coy doctor vaguely admitted she did not know what to tell him, and introduces the oncologist, who can, and who provides a clearer description of what the past two weeks of lab tests, procedures, poking and prodding have found. The answers aren't great, but the news is encouraging: that the state of esophageal cancer Bill has is treatable.

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UPDATE: In fairness, aside from the one glitch of a clinician being unclear about details, the care and attention Bill has been getting has been exemplary. Each of the people under Step Down's care have unique and difficult medical problems, yet the staff remain on top of their mission while remaining thoughtful to what the folks they are working with go through. I'm glad they are there.