a visit to the VA

     It only took two months for the gasto-enterologist to apologize to my friend for tearing the lining the wall of his espohogaus. He was, during the meeting with him, increasingly distraught. After we had left, he noted that the very least the doc could have done was to have apologized while he remained at the hospital, especially since he remained there an extra couple of weeks because of the tear.
     Most (but not all) of the clinicans who saw him today were reluctant to provide encouragement or support. Instead it was "...why did you let them remove your feeder tube?" or "Oh, don't listen to <>u>that hospital. They are far too experimental." {NOTE: he had called Cancer Centers of America who gave him some ideas for a proccedure that might be able to open the esophagus stricture somewhat].
     The plus side is that NO cancer cells were observed, and his bloodwork is pretty darned good, and his weight is 15 pounds greater than when he'd been discharged mid-April.
     Next week, a tentaive expansion of the esophogeal stricture again... together with anticipated difficuties with getting anesthesia due to constricted blood veins.
     That, and dealing with an insensitive, uncaring and probably incompetent case worker at the Medicaid office that "manages" his outpatient payment authorizations. I am being MORE than gracious at not mentioning the New Britain CT DSS case worker by name. I KNOW she messes up other clients accounts as well, so it is, um, nothing personal.
     More to follow.

living with cancer - Road less travelled

The directional signs remain unclear, though it is possible to guess their instruction.

The stress of a cancer diagnosis clearly rests on those close to the victim as well.

Not knowing what the next step might be, nor how to steer the vehicle to get to the desired site, makes one tired and unsure.

One man at the hospital, on the recovery end of surgery, soberly noted that he'd rather be in active combat than go through treatment again ~ the experience indescribable.

Nevertheless, he remained upbeat. Don't lose sight of the end goal, even if you cannot see it in the scope.

living with cancer - Going Haiku

""The price of freedom is visible here"

After four days into the admission with still no real communication from clinicians, Bill yelled out at the nurses. A diminutive, yet authoritative-acting foreign doctor gathers the troops around his bed to tell him he caused a freight by yelling [a behavioral anomaly readily addressed with anti-anxiety meds].

This group's "show of concern" at least provides him the chance to express his frustration's source. It seems the diminutive doctor, rather than having the courage to acknowledge she doesn't know the answers to his questions, instead responds to them by evasive language and seeming coy.

The man just learned he has cancer! Going haiku doesn't help.

When the doctor cannot answer a question ~ and instead avoids it ~ it is normal to assume the worst. On the other hand, a frank admission that you just don't know, while not providing satisfaction, is at least a lot more clear.

What is it about some doctors, so frail they interpret loudly stated verbal expressions of anguish, anger, frustration and loss as potential indicators of lack of control ...of mental illness !?!?!

The irony here is that the West Haven VA Hospital is riddled with posters offering help and assistance for combat veterans with PTSD. And while being diagnosed with cancer is not the same as combat stress, hearing you have cancer can be traumatic, it can be stressful. Is it too much to ask that all clinicians working there at least know this? I think not.

The coy doctor vaguely admitted she did not know what to tell him, and introduces the oncologist, who can, and who provides a clearer description of what the past two weeks of lab tests, procedures, poking and prodding have found. The answers aren't great, but the news is encouraging: that the state of esophageal cancer Bill has is treatable.

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UPDATE: In fairness, aside from the one glitch of a clinician being unclear about details, the care and attention Bill has been getting has been exemplary. Each of the people under Step Down's care have unique and difficult medical problems, yet the staff remain on top of their mission while remaining thoughtful to what the folks they are working with go through. I'm glad they are there.

living with cancer - Pray for BillP

My camera shy friend is suffering after a recent discovery of cancer cells within his body. His less than camera shy pals [Big Boy and Little Guy/Tiger, both shown here] anxiously await his return home.

Right now Bill is at the VA Hospital in West Haven under the scrutiny of oncologists and surgeons.

Uncertainty is arduous.

Right now I don't know what to think ~ or do.

I pray that his difficult ordeal eventually finds him tumor and cancer cell free so that he and I can ride along Chamberlain Highway [plus do a slew of other things ~ some that require a passport] a whole lot more times.

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As I write this I'm hit with a double whammy; for my brother Ken, who lives out in San Diego, has also been diagnosed with cancer the very same week. With Ken I'd like to be able to ride about the Sequoia National Forest on his hog. Mindful of the fact that I could find all sorts of spurious information about cancers on the internet, I do find a trio of articles ~ A Layman's Guide to Esophageal Cancer ~ written by Roger Tunsley, to have been encouraging and helpful. Another article, on gastrointestinal cancers, on the American College of Gastroenterology website, is also quite informative. Two other websites I found helpful include Wikipeada's Esophageal Cancer entry and a link to the Esophageal Cancer Action Network.